Afreen Afreen

Might be worth going back to school, specifically to SUNY, Stony Brook -

Support of the underdog

Is it human nature to be supportive of the underdog? Do humans always seek stories of a David defeating a Goliath? Or is it just a psyche of a pre-globalization Indian kid? That his/her side always lost to someone who had "better" facilities, was more ruthless and sought any which way of winning (read the Australian cricket team), and hence was always a spoiled Goliath. And on the few occasions that his side came on top, were the times that righteousness won. Why does my mind always cast the shadow of the unlawful on the person who wins, and who isn't ashamed that he/she is the best?

Well not sure if this happens to everyone, but if I had to root cause this, the answer might lie in childhood. I played lots of sports as a kid, and none of it in an organized manner (something that you may call as Gully sports). By describing my own childhood, I might be putting myself on a pedestal, as stories generally make sense, when they are told of extra-ordinary human beings. But what the heck! Back to my childhood, I loved sports. And I generally played them against people who were way more skilled than I was. An elder cousin, who was better at every sport or another division in school, who kicked our collective asses, or generally a physically stronger entity. And I had to think, and think a lot, to be in any way competitive. This thinking got me through a lot of situations, and presented me with a few opportunities of winning. But at those very moments, I felt that I didn't deserve. I felt that I had gotten into those situation on the back of thinking and not ability. And I almost took pride in giving up those opportunities. Not that I realized it back then. Or maybe I have too much time right now and I am glorifying the unnecessary details.

Is it an epidemic of growing up in the era of scarcity? Am I already mentally old? Why do I always love a Pujara over a Rohit Sharma? Why do I love the cricket commentary of Sanjay Manjrekar when everyone around me seems to hate him? And they do talk as if they are better cricketers, but I will bet you that I will kick their ass if I got on one on one against them in most sports. Sanjay Manjrekar is one intelligent man I can identify with. He underachieved as a cricketer, and had no one to turn to for advice. I can only imagine the sleepless nights he must have spent figuring out why  the grand success always eluded him. I am sure Pujara does that a lot too. Is a closed mind, that overthinks, a shackle? Is it a disability to such an extent, that not having one counts as a talent (ala Virender Sehwag)?

I see a lot of people around me who love Federer. And as a byproduct, hate Nadal. I love Nadal, I am waiting for a day when he roars back to form, takes at least 3 grand slams for the year, and what the heck, maybe even overtakes Federer's total count. But will I be truly happy that day? Or will the underdog switch places? Is it just a game that the mind plays to keep itself forever dissatisfied?

Life needs a reboot button. I loved watching the movie Tamasha. But then I recently watched Love Aaj Kal. And I got what people said about Imtiaz Ali. That he makes the same movie again and again. I don't know if everyone's life revolves around a single theme. But then, no life is worth analyzing as much :).

Well yet another post that doesn't make any sense at all :)

The search of a high

If you grow up in a society which values your achievements as a kid and frowns upon any sort of failure, you probably will develop this lifelong obsession for a public achievement and a fear of public failure. That's why I loved people from Goa. There were quite a few of them in my very first job, and they all seemed extremely self assured, without the kind of pretense of self assurance, that you get if you grow up in a certain city in Maharashtra. They seemed genuinely at ease with themselves. Or maybe it was just me, who thought that they were, and internally they were paddling like those ducks, just trying to stay afloat. But I have seen that a lot with people who come from coastal areas, not coastal cities, just smaller coastal areas. Maybe it's the sea that teaches them to take things easy.

There is a very thin line though between this easy and too easy though. I don't always get myself to respect people, who take a bit too easy. I had no respect for someone like a Vinod Kambli, no sympathy for his so called bad luck. Yet I struggled to empathize with how much pressure Tendulkar put on himself, to live up to his Bharat Ratna status. Often in first impressions, it's hard to judge whether a person understands the consequences of taking it easy and still takes it that way, and a person who just doesn't know stuff. It's hard to comprehend if a person has been - for the lack of a better phrase from the social circles that I grew up in - "good enough" to be on the other side, and yet chooses to remain on this side, and a person who just doesn't even know that other side exists. It tends to be a very Seinfeldish situation, where Kramer, in a weird way, ends up being a sage.

And hence begins the search for that public admiration, which as you grow older, turns into a fear of public failure. It's often hard to do things the way you want because there is this fear that you may do them wrong and then the public, which has been waiting with a bated breath for that one wrong move from you, will execute you. Life is often this struggle between not giving this f**k and still producing results. And then there are times when you hit equilibrium in your mind, but your dear ones pull the rug from under your feet. Maybe life is just a simulation which is designed to not be able to achieve the equilibrium. It's like a game of Vikram and Vetaal.

Well that post did not make much sense.

Things where the process of learning is contradictory to natural instincts.

1. Changing lanes while driving - the natural instinct is to slow down.
2. Belaying/ rappelling down - the natural instinct is to stay vertical and not let go of your weight.
3. Catching a cricket ball in cold weather - the natural instinct is to go tentatively thinking that it will hurt your fingers. It's less likely to hurt if you commit fully, as it's more likely to hit the palm in that case.
4. Swimming - the instinct is to keep the head up. But that's dead weight, as soon as you immerse it in and hold your breath, you have a better chance of floating.

Neun la leya

As one of the comments says, Jaffer's voice is really like honey, thick, sweet and soothing. The lyrics are also very beautiful, especially the line "Nadiyo paar, raanjhan da thana".

Strangle who?

Have you ever felt like actually strangling someone? But don't know who? Because mostly you are the reason why you are feeling that way. And you don't want to strangle yourself? But then how did you get there? And are you getting in even deeper? Is it a deadlock? That only you can break?

Often times there are problems. Big and small. Big ones are motivating, but very very hard to solve. And the motivation ebbs and flows. Mostly connected to how much breakthrough you are making at that point. But in the end they are really tough to solve. And if you actually solve them, by the time you have solved them, you are so exhausted, that you forget to celebrate. And smalls ones are easy to solve. So easy that you are not motivated to solve them. And so you don't solve them. And they make the big problems more complex. So what's the point of anything?

It's a curse to have empathy and analytical ability. Because when people are wrong, you will empathize. And when you are wrong, you will analyze. So where is the vent?

PritamDa Unplugged

My favorite movie. Starts off with my favorite track. And an unfulfilled desire...

Blue angels

T.S Special - "ब्लू एंजल्स च्या दारावर अशी पाटी लिहिली असेल - आमचे इथे कोणत्याही पद्धतीने विमान उडवून मिळेल."
We imagined that there is an old "वाडा" in Sadashiv Peth, that might have this door with this signboard. Simple joys of life :D